I see a red door and I want it panted black.

Words from one of my favorite rock n roll songs that I always thought was political, but it’s not. It is, according to Mick Jagger, about a young girl’s funeral. That’s good enough for me. It’s a dark song. I’m the dark and brooding type, so it works.

But I started to sing this because of the door. I suppose I could have sung Paul McCartney’s (Wings) Let em In, but that is just so upbeat! You know, because of Paul. Paul is a bit of an optimist. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. It was a good thing he was actually. It was a great balance for the Beatles and it made for the most perfect songwriting duo known to mankind. I was just more of a Lennon fan myself – for the very reason that Paul was a bit too much of a fluffy cloud.

But anyway, that door. Dalet is the door to the house, or rather, the opening to the house. If you’ve been following my blog, I’ve been studying the Hebrew letters and the Kabbalah.

The Dalet also represents the poor man that the Gimmel is running after to give charity to.

That sounds pretty funny that you would have to chase someone down to give them money, doesn’t it?

Remember I said before about how I have certain people in mind when I think about the Gimmel? Well, this might sound strange, but I think about the part of my relationship with my brother that has been strained in the past – although lately it has been quite healed – but I have thought about him as a Gimmel and about me as a Dalet, but not in the same context. I don’t think of him running after me. That’s not it. It’s hard to explain. …Trust me, he’s not running after me to give me any charity.

Like I said, it’s hard to explain, but what I can say is this: there’s actually a verse in Matthew that goes: “it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”

Now whether you are a Christian or a Jew, or nothing in between, there is something to be said about that. I think about that verse a lot, as a “poor man” and as someone that usually runs away from charity! Ha! Yet, here I am in Joshua Tree on this quest, because of the charity of my friends and supporters. A charity of sorts anyway.

And speaking of mitzvahs, and the Dalet, here we go, right? Trust me, this ties together I think — into the poor man, the rich man, and in my mind, which has the bigger ego.

The Dalet has a lot to do with the consciousness of the ego, because many times in life we think that when we achieve big successes, it’s all about us. It’s all about how powerful we have become on our own alone. And we forget about this free will thing. That goes right out the window. We don’t give God any thought when these great things happen, yet we sure get pissed at him when the bad stuff occurs. (How could God let this horrible thing happen to me?!) 

We seem to acknowledge the God presence in times of struggle. I know I have noticed looking around for God during those times, probably every time. That’s when I need it.

The Talmud describes a situation where one man is carrying a heavy object and another man appears to be helping him by placing his hands under the object, when in truth the first man is carrying all the weight. The second man is referred to as “a merely apparent helper.” So are we, explains the Ba’al Shem Tov, in relation to God. Ultimately, all one’s strength comes from Above. Free choice is no more than the expression of one’s will to participate, as it were, in the Divine act. One merely places one’s hands under the weight carried exclusively by God.

Okay, I’m almost done with all this religious stuff. Well, I am done. I just wanted to say that I went down the biggest rabbit hole today when studying because I didn’t know what the Zohar was. Now I do!

Now for what I did in the studio today. Nothing!

Okay, I did some sketches, but not many! It was really a study day. Here are a few. I worked on a watercolor for a long time, but I don’t know how I feel about it yet.





Okay, this is me, signing off. See you tomorrow.


Who’s on Third?


What did I learn about Gimmel today?

Well, I will admit that I am still confused.

I know what it represents. That I am clear on. The sages believe it is the rich man running after the poor man ( specifically the Dalet), to give charity to.

The Gimmel is put together as a Vav with a Yud as its foot.

I have often drawn this as a character with actual “feet,” sometimes with sneakers, and I have known it to symbolize wealth. I have associated it with certain people I know. Maybe I shouldn’t have, but I have, so I suppose I have had a strange bias against it.

I even painted Dan being born into a “Gimmel machine” on purpose, in hopes that the series of paintings I did about him would hopefully bring me wealth that year, which turned out to be a stupid thing to do.


But anyhow, on my studies today, I found that again, this letter has more to do with FREE WILL than anything else. Another letter that has to do with free will. It seems that free will is probably the greatest thing we have going for us. And there is something for me to learn in that – I just know there is!

In what I was reading today, well, I will quote some of it here:

The word “gimel” is derived from the word “gemul,” which in Hebrew means both the giving of reward as well as the giving of punishment. In Torah, both reward and punishment have the same ultimate aim – the rectification of the soul to merit to receive God’s light to the fullest extent.

Reward and punishment imply that man is free to choose between good and evil. 

After all this I get a bit foggy on the rest, but I get that giving and receiving is about free will, and that all just makes me want to think about it all more. I suppose I’m not finished meditating on this one folks.

So after all this studying, I went into the studio and finished up all my postcards for everyone and went into town and mailed them off. One was a handmade postcard for someone extra special.


I then wound up doing an extra long video diary. I don’t know why, but I got carried away.

Then I did a bunch of small, square drawings. I was really excited about a few of them. really excited.

Things are moving along!

Oh, and I took a shot of those Exodus bracelets like I promised, see?:


I guess that’s it for tonight. I’m pretty tired and I have to pee at the moment.

Second Day Crawling

It was some kinda day today. Or maybe I should not say that.

I did not get as much done as I had hoped to, but I wonder if I’m going to be saying that every day. (Probably so, Joe.)

There is a friend I have in mind and I hope she is reading this blog entry tonight because I couldn’t help but think about her the entire time while studying today, while I was studying about the Kabbalah anyway. At least I did that! Other than that, I only got about five drawings – sketches really – done, plus a few photographs. No video footage today unfortunately.

I was studying and meditating on the letter Beit, which comes next in the Hebrew alphabet, and is also the first letter in the Torah, opening Genesis.

Most of you probably know, and I have known for a long while that Beit mainly means House, I did’t know how in depth – of course – all this gets.

And I hope all of you know that I am not giving out lessons here. I am merely learning these things and just writing out my stupid interpretations of how perceive this stuff, as some of it is a little poetic to me. None is quite literal. Although, I’m sure many do  take it literally. I do not. I am, and always have been, pretty secular, as a Jew. Only in the last decade have I become a little more serious about this religion. Or rather, “a little more interested,” might be a better way to put it.

My true calling for it was nostalgic; an early family connection that I missed very much when my grandma was still alive. I missed the traditions mostly. I missed when the family was closer and like a network of loving women. Since then, I felt lost, and sad. Once I found the right synagogue, I think that changed and my interest deepened.

But back to Beit,  the house business. Genesis begins with a BIG Beit.  God had specific intentions about his house and our house. It was the original intention as a matter of fact and that’s why  Genesis starts out that way, because it’s, of course, more than just a house,  it’s what dwells inside  the house.

You have to look at it in terms of God being a house. A really big, powerful and loving house. And you are a house too. And yes, the temples were/are the houses where we connected to God, but not really. We are the ones that dwell inside them. But what about when the Temple was destroyed?

The Torah details a description of the Tabernacle and its vessels: “They shall build me a Temple and I will dwell in them.” Not “in it,” but “in them” – in each and every Jew. Not the temples. I see it this way.

This following paragraph is for my friend. I’m cutting and pasting it right out of The Channels of the Creative Consciousness:

Beit is numerically equal to the word “ta’avah,” which means “desire” or “passion” (412). In general, “ta’avah” connotes a negative human property. However, in several places “ta’avah” denotes the positive passion of the tzadik, the righteous man. One passage in Proverbs states: “He will fulfill the passion of the tzadik,” and a second says: “the passions of tzadikim are only good.” The “ta’avah” of G-d, the “Tzadik of the world,” is altogether above reason and logic. At this level one cannot ask “why.” As expressed by Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi: “About passion, there can be no question.” As G-d is the essence of good so His passion is “only good.”

Some more connections leading back to this letter – it has everything to do with FREE WILL, being able to make choices between right and wrong, what is best to bring happiness to your personal house. It even talks about how your house also represents your partner. Beit  is the second letter in the alphabet, so its Divine number is two. Being after Aleph,  and the two being you and your mate for life, this is the kind of partnership that is next to the one you have with God.

Okay, enough with all that, here are some of the pictures I took today that I LOVE the most!





The First Day Running

Hi Everyone!

Well today was my very first official day here in Joshua Tree and it was eventful. Or at least as much as I could make it. I think it might take me a day or two to get the hang of it here and shake the city off, plus I still spent the morning setting things up since I didn’t really do that yesterday.

When I got here yesterday, I just sort of put everything where it needed to go in each room and/or house. There are three buildings here: a main house, an art studio, and a writer’s studio. This morning I actually unpacked my materials and put them where I thought they needed to go in the studio, and I spent some time trying to figure out the video camera.

I guess I never told you about that whole thing.

The loaner they gave me was not working so I had to go back to the shop and they gave me a totally different camera. A Canon that I do not know how to use, so now there is a big learning curve here. I am trying to study the manual to this thing as well as the Torah!

And to catch you more up on yesterday, remember when I said I was looking out the window at this great little scene as I was dozing off on my nap? Well, I was able to snap that picture this morning when I woke up before my studies.


What you can’t see in this picture is the chaise lounge to the right. It is from the 1970s and is one of those metal sorts wrapped in thin, colorful plastic bands that coil around the metal poles. The color is really contrasty against the natural landscape, so I want to do something with that.

Once I snapped the picture, I took my dog for a little walk after my coffee, and came back to study the Hebrew letter Aleph. I did a lot more studying and meditating today than I did any drawing or taking notes – although I did that too…




I just did a lot more studying about Aleph than I did drawing, and I hardly took any pictures outside.

But I did take a lot of notes, and I came to a lot of realizations and learnings – many things I never knew about Hebrew and the Torah in general. Maybe other Jews know these things, but I didn’t, and now I know.

Like how Aleph is not the first letter of the Torah. I always thought it was. It is not. Beit is the very first letter of Genesis. Aleph is the first letter of Exodus however. And I came to a realization as to why that is.

As you know, I am a novice at this Kabbalah stuff, but I know that Yud has something to do with a position or a distinct point of view, kind of like a dimension. An Aleph is two Yuds opposite each other on the top and the bottom and separated by a diagonal Vov. I am pretty sure a Vov is like a ray of light.

In Genesis, when God created the heavens and the earth, there are distinct separations that are made between the sea and the sky, between the deep water, and the light water (there is a distinct passage about how he hovers over the water and creates the ‘expanse,” which is actually translated as the “firmament,” and it’s all about how the celestial water is definitely different from the sea water, etc.), the sea and the land and the distance and closeness between God and human beings – the spiritual world and the mortal world. It is quite clear. There is an “above” and there is a “below,” the “above” having to do with God’s world.

But in Exodus, something interesting happens there between God and Moses, and even within that fire, which I have kind of determined to be that ray of light, as the “Vov” in the Aleph, where the high and the low worlds meet. And maybe I am stretching, but what Kabbalaist isn’t doing that? And anyway, this is why (I think) Exodus begins with this very important Hebrew letter: Aleph. Maybe that is also why it is too precious to have a sound, as it is a silent letter too.

Or maybe I’m just on too much mescaline today.

Here in Joshua Tree and All is Well

Well, I made it here. The traffic was pretty terrible, but I’ve seen worse. It just took a while to settle in and I don’t think that’s going to fully  happen until morning. One thing about the high desert, especially combined with MS, is how tired it makes you. I passed out for a good hour after I put the groceries away. The drive made me rather tired too.

As I was falling asleep, I wished I had already unpacked my cameras, since there was a perfect scene just outside the window. I laid on the little bed that sits in what might be the dining area of the main house, the room with undoubtedly the best, and most incredible view of the National Park. Luckily, it’s not going anywhere, and neither am I. I just know now what my first photo and set of sketches are going to be in the morning.


Today was WINDY! It’s still windy. I mean really, really  windy. I read about it ahead of time, but I didn’t think it would be this  bad. It’s creaking everything in the house, like it’s haunted with a zoo of maniacal poltergeists! I’m a little scared, but I don’t believe in ghosts, so I’m not that  scared. I’m more scared of things like: my dog dying out here from a snake bite or a bobcat. Or maybe that even happening to me.  That scares me, and trust me, I get completely panicked about such things to the point where I can hardly move sometimes. It’s shameful!  Yet, I am admitting it to you, my friends and “fans” that care enough to actually read this stuff. Don’t you have anything better to do? Thank you, by the way.

Anyway, how much have I revealed about this property where I am staying? Because it is certainly incredible. Probably the most incredible place to stay – if you are ever in Joshua Tree. Seriously. Now I am about to give Randy Polumbo  a ton of new customers for his rental house…

This is a vacation rental home that sits on more than 10 acres of land that stretches around the National Park border at its West entrance. See for yourself, but the description, nor the pictures, do the place any justice at all whatsoever. It’s all completely understated for some (maybe good) reason that I don’t know about, so I hope I’m not doing them any disservice by disseminating their info here, but this place is just such a haven, I can’t keep my big mouth shut.

Anyway, I’m getting pretty tired again, so I will sign off for now. I’ll be hard at work tomorrow though, and will see you back here around the same time.

Shabbot Shalom!

Leaving in One Hour

Hey everyone!

I am getting ready to jump into the shower and then take off to Joshua Tree! I can’t believe it’s here!

These past few days have been difficult: packing, grieving the death of my aunt, making sure I do not forget anything, getting all my supplies that I need together, etc., etc.

There’s a whole camera story I will have to tell you once I get there. I don’t have time right now, but it’s all F’ed up! I don’t know, maybe it will turn out to be a good thing. We’ll see. I just don’t know yet, but I’m not bringing my Sony TRV 900 after all! I am so upset. I have something else. I’ll get into to later.

I just wanted to let you know that the bracelets arrived this morning. They look great – well, except for the fact that I expected them to be a much  darker olive green. 🙁  But there is really nothing I can do about this one.

I will take a picture of them when I get settled.

So I’m signing off from Los Angeles for now and I will meet you on the other side. I am excited! See you there!



Power is “ON”

Alright, so should I get this out of my system? Should I tell the story of why I’ve had a big “film block?”

It’s a really, really heavy story. I warn you. And why would – how could – a Handicam  bring about such an uproar?

Well it did.

In 2007, I had a very good year in terms of sales. I was finally able to purchase a good DV cam so that I could finally experiment with video production. I had BIG plans. I researched cameras and got a lot of advice from people in the know about how I could make an actual motion picture. I got me a Sony TRV 900. If you don’t know about this camera, it is the first of the Sony DV, hand-held cams that were decent enough to make a movie with. They are basically equivalent to buying a $5000 camera today, but I got one on eBay for $500.

It worked great, but the body of it looked like it had been dragged behind a car or something. I didn’t mind because it worked and I knew what it was really worth.

The reason I was interested in video at all whatsoever was because I was ULTRA inspired by a film called Tarnation. This film gave me amazing energy to put together my own autobiography as a documentary art film, complete with animation, footage of my parents, personal diaries, and the like. It would be very similar to what director, Jonathan Caouette did in Tarnation, but without the billions of hours of footage he had. He was documenting his family since he was a very young child! Kind of amazing. Not kind of, totally.

Anyway, people had always told me that I should write a book about my life, but I never felt I was a very good writer. I really thought that once I got this camera, it would bring out some big, talented filmmaker in me that was dormant or something.

That didn’t happen.

Nonetheless, I still very much wanted to pursue my documentary and I had ideas to begin getting footage of my parents in their weird little habitat in Las Vegas. And I realized that I would probably have to go out there quite a number of times before they would be used to having a camera in their face and start to act natural with me filming them.

So I began driving out to Las Vegas to visit them.

I think I’m going to have to tell this story in parts.


Part Two to come soon. 🙂

Friends with Fellini

Okay, so, I don’t want to jinx it or anything, but I’m pretty sure I have my film collaborators in place. I am SO excited!

How about I just do not reveal exactly who they are at this time? I won’t name names (last names), but they come as a team, and they are probably the most creative people I could ever ask for! I can NOT believe they are going to help ME! 

To what extent, I do not know yet, but we certainly have plenty of time to figure that out.

But I just have to say, I don’t know if my favorite part about this is the fact that these guys (I say guys, but one is male, Jonathan, and the other is a very lovely female, Susan, – both of whom I absolutely LOVE), are a couple of the most creative artists I have ever known, or if it’s the fact that I am also getting to do the musical score on this, or if it’s the fact that I have known Jonathan since I was 15 years old!

Yup! 15!

And he’s probably THE most talented musician I have ever known.

Okay, I swear, I am not just saying that in passing, or to blow smoke up anyone’s ass, or anything of the sort. He doesn’t even read this thing by the way (he’s too damn busy, nor do I think he even knows I have a blog for this project), I have just been thinking about this long and hard.

From the time I met this guy – I mean, I was just a kid at the time, and none of us knew back then who we’d become, or how good we were, how under wraps our ambitions truly were, but all of us; all the little musicians in our network, we were all very focused. Quietly competitive. It’s so interesting to me now. Man, this blog post is about to get long.

A few of us, I say “us,” but I was not at all in the class where Jonathan was in. I was only trying to master my main instrument for the most part (drums). I was also trying to write music, however, only by ear. I knew some guitar. I knew some basics. I wrote a few “tunes.” I was very insecure about them though. Terribly insecure as a matter of fact, as my brother was basically a musical prodigy on the guitar, and it was difficult to tune, or even strum my little flamenco guitar within 10 feet of him without feeling like an idiot flounder. Not fun to grow up around that.

But then I met a boy who would become my very first boyfriend, and he was a musical genius. A dark, tormented and tortured genius. We had a really intense relationship. I mean, we were 15 or 16 and it lasted a couple of years. Sometimes we were like Siamese twins, and other times we (I) needed to get far away from each other because of all the dark intensity.

But anyway — what the hell are the odds of another 15/16 year-old phenomenon living four doors down the street from him? 


Now you’re going to think that I just call anyone a genius, right? Like I’m totally easily impressed? Well, you are very wrong. It takes a LOT to impress me in both music and film (and comedy too, for that matter!). No, this was a FREAK coincidence! That’s why this is a story. Two 16 year-old musical wonders living on the same flippin block!

When my boyfriend introduced me to Jonathan, I was like, what the hell? Is everyone more talented than me? At that time, I just thought I was a total nincompoop musician. I mean, look who I had around me. If you only knew. You’ll have to read my book eventually, but I grew up with some of the greatest musicians around. And that’s what made me a great drummer. I just had no idea I was any good!

Growing up in a sea of masterminds gives you a pretty skewed barometer to gauge your own abilities as a player. I am pretty sure that’s what happened to me, and so, I practiced my ass off and I got to be a pretty good drummer. But that’s not exactly what I was meaning to talk about. Although – I like to talk about ME at any chance I get as you all must know by now…

My point was that Jonathan was a genius when I met him at 15, and he only got better all these years. We are no longer kids. Ha!

Well, Jonathan. he also had one of the first Apple computers known to man. This was way back when my brother had a Tandy from Radio Shack, and as geeky as it seemed to be, both (more so Jonathan) were already creating animations. I was a computer geek too, but I really didn’t come on the scene until Windows 3.1 – just being honest. I didn’t get onto the internet until 1994. Still, that was before you.

He was also playing with film as well as music. I just can’t tell you what an all around talented guy he is. But his music… Jesus Christ! He’s a brilliant composer. And it’s not that he can’t write classical – he can (he went to Berkeley and all that crap), but I mean he is a brilliant composer of contemporary songs that will blow your underwear off! He’s magical. That’s the only way I can describe his music. Magical.

So now, he, and his just-as-talented partner Susan are going to be working with me, and assisting me on my little film? Crazy!

I just can’t believe it!

Now, I started writing this blog post with the intention of telling all about my “issues” about my Sony handicam (because there’s a very, VERY hardcore story that goes along with why I have had this camera for so long and have not used it. I have had it since 2007 and it’s been sitting in my camera bag because I have emotional issues around it – and so I haven’t been exploring film/video as I had planned to in 2007  — the way I wanted to… but that is another story for another time IF I even want to or if it is even appropriate to get into. It’s pretty heavy.

Anyhow, thanks for reading! LOVE! LOVE! LOVE!

I’ll add pics in a few.

Where it’s At

Hello loyal believers in me!

How is everyone? I have had a death in the family, and so I have had a small blip in keeping you updated, but I’m sure you understand. For me, working through it is the best way for me to cope. Everyone is different when it comes this stuff. How do you deal with such things? 

I just thought I’d put out an update on where everything is at so far, but remember, or, please be advised, keep in mind, etc., etc, that we are (I am) still at the starting gate. That doesn’t mean, however, that inquiring minds don’t wish to know, right?

My Joshua Tree trip is just around the corner! I am leaving on April 25th. As a matter of fact, I just picked up my Sony TRV 900 Handicam from Harry’s Camera today. Actually, that’s not true. I picked up a loaner. Mine is still being worked on! Apparently the parts that were ordered were faulty and now they are waiting for new, non-faulty ones to come in. They just won’t be here in time. In the meantime they gave me the exact same model on loan. What can’t cha do?

Other hurdles: the Dan stickers! I was so very excited yesterday when I found out they arrived at Sticky Ricks. If the traffic wasn’t  poopy, I would’ve driven 100 MPH to get there. However, when I showed up and we unpacked the stickers from the box, we noticed that Dan was not the color he was supposed to be. Something terribly wrong happened to his ink and he was too green! Poor Dan looked like he had nausea! Now he has to be reprinted. Other than that, I have to say, these stickers KICK ASS!

Talk about things that are supposed to be green — the bracelets! Those are in production and I got to see a “proof” picture. They look super cool. They say “Exodus” on one part of the band, yet turn them just a little bit, and they say Exodus again – in HEBREW! How cool is that! If you want to know what that will look like, just check out the top left edge of  the website.

I’d like to publicly thank Mark Strunin, the President of Temple Beth Israel, for helping me translate Exodus into Hebrew properly – and for the free mini Hebrew lesson in general. I never knew that the “Exodus” in the Torah’s literal translation was “Names.” Did you? Well, you probably did. If you’re Jewish, you probably went to Hebrew school as a kid. Unfortunately, I missed out on that, but I’ve heard that learning languages are much easier to learn when you’re a kid. At least I like to tell myself that while I am learning Hebrew and Spanish because both have a way of not sinking into my mushy skull.

Anyway, the Exodus that is written in Hebrew in the Torah (Names) did not communicate what I wanted it to for the purpose of this project, so now it does say “Exodus,” meaning: The Leaving. I hope that makes sense. Does it? Good.

I’ve also been working on the layout for the Dan’s 10 Commandments (for a Better Life and Hygiene) book. It’s still in its baby stages though, but it’s getting there. It’s written! That’s something. And I am always working on this website. This one you’re on right now. It will always be expanding. I will always be rewriting it as well.

Other things are rolling, of course. Like I have said before, I don’t like wasting time, and I don’t. I work on stuff every day. I’ve finally come to grips to admitting that I’m a workaholic. Admitting to it is a step in the right direction, I suppose, but beyond that seems hopeless. I really can’t imagine going a day without working. Maybe that is why this trip will be so very healing for me. It will force me to slow down, meditate, and do some self-reflection, but since it is for work, I am willing to do it. In a sense, I am tricking myself into relaxing! That probably sounds like the schemes of a lazy person, but if you only knew how badly I work myself into the ground, you’d understand.

You know, now that I’m typing this, I can see clearer what this is. Ha! Maybe I have been plotting this project for a long time in order to change my entire working process because I physically can’t carry on the way I used to, and I’m doing it all this way because I can’t admit it to myself any other way. I’m thinking this because I did something pretty similar almost 20 years ago when I could not play music professionally anymore.

Ooookay. That’s going to be a whole ‘nother blog post!

Back to the subject at hand.

My Carol Es un Monographie de Lignes books are almost finished! They are being bound right now, and then, we are talking maybe a week or so. I mean, not long. I’m so close! Can you believe it? I can’t! All that, thanks to Bill Roberts of Bottle of Smoke Press! Once that is done, I will be starting on the colored pencil drawings for the ones that are being rewarded to my magnificent Exodus donors!


Speaking of which, please – everyone – send in your mailing addresses! Especially yous that are getting a postcard from Joshua Tree because I will be mailing those from the desert!

I just scored some classic JTree postcards from the 1930s through the 1960s on eBay! Sometimes, I love eBay.


Lastly, I know how premature this is, but I actually made my first quick sketch for the project. I know I’m not even out there (in the desert) yet, but I couldn’t get this image out of my mind. Not only that, but I know more are coming because once I did it, it wasn’t quite right and I know that feeling I get when I try to match the imagery in my brain – as foggy as it is – a kind of obsession begins to percolate. I want to draw it over and over, maybe paint it, maybe paint it a lot… I’m not saying this is going to get to that point. I have absolutely no idea! It’s just a little sketch right now. A sketch with the feeling of making at least another, at least until I capture what I want.


What do I want? To isolate a rock with different shadows from other rocks hitting it near the top. I want those shadows to look like curving shards, and if I can’t find a rock like that, I will find one that almost looks like it, and invent the rest. I want those shard-shaped shadows to get colored in, in red, oranges and yellows, and dammit, it just has to be right, and it has to be over a “yud” in the upper right hand corner of the canvas with a fragile, scaffolding holding the yud up in place, done crudely in light pencil.

I think I should go now and give you all a new update as I move further along. I’ll try not to wait so long and leave things pile up, that way I’ll make shorter blog posts. Wait…me, make a short blog post? You’ve gotta be kidding, right?

And it Was Good


Can you believe it? I can’t! I am out of my mind with happiness, excitement flabbergastion, butterflies, gratitude, and more gratitude!!!

Wow! Wow! Wow!


And guess what?

I just received a grant for $1000 from the National Arts and Disability Center to help me with the painting leg of my project for when I get back from the desert!


I am blessed all kinda ways!

So I’m going to get right to telling you what comes next. Why wait? I’m excited to reveal it all, aren’t you excited to hear it? We are all part of this thing now, so I figured you’d be interested.

This project officially starts RIGHT NOW! That’s right. The wheels and cogs have been a-turnin’ in my mind throughout the last 30 days during the campaign, and I can’t keep my ideas contained any longer! I want to get to work. I want to keep you abreast. I want you along for the ride.

Now, Kickstarter puts a little hold on the money before it doles it out, but since I have had an Amazon Payments Account for a long time, I think I may not have to wait as long. I will look into that. In the meantime,  I will be begin working on everyone’s rewards as soon as humanly possible. Because of the nature of some of the rewards, some of you will be receiving certain ones before others, but don’t worry: ALL WILL BE FULFILLED!

Many of you will begin receiving messages from me about your preferences on some of your rewards, as certain ones, like the À la Dan Kabbalah letterpress prints, allow for the choice of a Hebrew letter. Other rewards will require you sending me an image of the nice person I’m doing a portrait of. Stuff like that. I will be getting to these things over the next week.


I also wanted to let you in on the project website I have been building at ExodusJoshuaTree.com. While it is still a work in progress, I finally have it up “live” so that there is a living “hub” for the project itself. You will also find the official blog on the site where I will be posting on frequently, and especially all the days throughout my stay in Joshua Tree, since the site is mainly for (or begins in) the FIRST leg of my entire project: An Exodus in Joshua Tree.

Also in the news, I will be going to Joshua Tree right away!!! That’s right, I do not waste any time, plus the best time to go is now in the spring while everything is blooming! If all goes as planned, I will be there as soon as the end of this month!

To some up for now, some of you might have noticed that I put up an F.A.Q. at the bottom of the project description – just hours before it ended. I did this because I had been questioned about the title the project a number of times (mostly in person) and would have to explain it all to people one at a time. I figured if people were asking me, then other people must be wondering, so now it’s in writing. So I’m including it in this message, for yucks.

Why did you call this project: “An Exodus in Joshua Tree” if you are going there?

Well, I didn’t foresee this title being complex to others’ ears on the day I created it. All I can say is that it made sense in my head in the moment, and here is why:

I feel that I am about to break out of the shackles of the kind of art-making that I had been doing for so many years.

Basically, over the last year, I’ve gained the tools I need. Now I’m going out from my studio, from Los Angeles, from my fears, from my crutches, my modus operandi, TO Joshua Tree, to wander the desert, to find my new home – within myself, within my art.

That is the exodus.

Thank you all for reading, and thank you ALL for everything!

Stay tuned, and visit the blog often at ExodusJoshuaTree.com/blog